Khudkushi Ke Baad

While work has kept me busier than usual, I have been doing some reading – on both Spiritual and Poetic ends. A lot has happened since I wrote Khudkushi back in August last year including thoughts of trying out different courses in life, wife of my brother’s high school friend committing suicide and so on. May be her Suicide had something to do with the visit of some fleeting verses as they came by this evening. So I just decided to put them down. I won’t necessarily call it a sequel to Khudkushi as both contain different messages, but I reckon the gist is the same. Though the language may a bit more khaalis than Khudkushi but I tried my best to point out the esoteric words. Comments, as always are welcome.

I hope you are able to understand what I wanted to say. The protagonist of this Nazm is speaking to you after committing suicide…Here is a late night recitation I recorded in June 2011.


Comments So Far..
  • anupam dhar 3 April, 2009 at 1:17 am

    Very involving. As Shakespeare rightly commented,” Suicide is the last resort of a coward.”

    The young stupid woman was too blind with momentary rage to forget that she was leaving behind an innocent one and a half year old boy. What was his fault.

    I can only pray that she does not burn in hell for long.

  • akaul 11 April, 2009 at 10:34 am

    Khudkushi……its not a solution to any problem…

    Its also very hard to think and write about it and you have done a great job !!!
    People commit suicide because they forget the inner strength they have .
    “Failing self confidence due to lack of spirituality is the major factor behind suicide ”
    Bhagwaan karey sabh ka dil aur dimag har paal shaant aur majboot rahey !!!Amen !!!

  • […] I’m presenting for you all. Hopefully, this won’t be as hard to understand as “Khudkushi Ke Baad“. The vocabulary is fairly simple. Comments/criticism are both welcome. I also recorded a […]

  • saurabh bharat 1 May, 2009 at 10:03 pm

    Hi dear gautam,

    amazing ! amazing that u can write so simply on two opposite views and can convince the reader on both of them ! really u r a volcano of talent ! keep it up man !

  • Gautam 3 May, 2009 at 2:52 pm

    Thanks Saurabh!

  • anubhav antakshari 30 June, 2009 at 12:56 am

    suicide occurs when the fear of life exceeds the fear of death. The person who commits suicide is in a lot of pain – mental, emotional and spiritual. He deserves our sympathy. Not what shakespeare said about “the last resort of a coward”. We are all cowards inside. We all feel like committing suicide inside because basically we are all insecure. But it is a still small voice that says “do it”. Only difference is in a suicide potential that voice has risen to a shrill deafening screamandso s/he is forced to commit the unspeakable deed.

    It would be better if we didn’t judge this sad anomaly for if the world conditions exacerbate we could be next!

  • Gautam 23 July, 2009 at 8:55 pm


  • shiva 9 September, 2009 at 7:19 am

    i think your poetry is very good sir….i have a love for urdu..i write a lot and many appreciate my work too but i want to get better..i wish to be a poet one day….but sir, when i search the internet for resources it gets really difficult…..i want to write better….if you could suggest some ways that could help me write better, improve my vocabulary or some resources that could be beneficial……i will be very glad…..thank you for reading this note……

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